What to do....

I think everyone has had a time in their life when they are so bored they think they literally might die but they have no money to go to a movie or something. So I, the expert of having no money, am here to tell you some of my ideas of what to do when your cashflow consists of what you've found between the couch cushions and random pennies on the sidewalk.
1. Take a nap
2. Take a shower
3. Brush your teeth
4. Walk around
5. Make a friend on your walk
6. Make up a game with that friend
7. Call your other friends to learn the new game you made up with your new friend and play it
8. Name your game
9. Assemble a flash mob
10. Pretend you're stuck in the wilderness and film it
11. Go to the park
12. Go on the swings at the park
13. Go home and disinfect your scrapes from when you fell of the swings
14. Stand in your backyard
15. Catch a frog
16. Name it Indiana Toad
17. Make a video of Indiana Toad and put it on youtube
18. Release Indiana Toad back into your backyard
19. Mow your lawn
20. Sadly realize that during the process of mowing your lawn you have ran over and killed Indiana Toad
21. Have a funeral for Indiana Toad
22. Post Indiana Toad's funeral on youtube
23. While you're on youtube look up some funny videos
24. After that check out my blog www.myfatgiraffeblog.blogspot.com
25. Then check out my cousin blog www.myfatdogblog.blogspot.com
25. If you're up for a awful good time try Photoshopping Susan Boyle's head onto Taylor Laughtner's body, it's quite fun
26. Then try it with different celebrity combinations such as, but not limited to: Dumbledore and Taylor Laughtner, Susan Boyle and a Calvin Klein model, Harry Potter and Megan Fox, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber and a Fat dog, etc.
27. Hand out copies of your Photoshopped celebrities to people on the street
28. Hand out autographs
29. Scroll back up and realize I put 25 twice
30. Invent the next big thing
31. Realize you don't have any idea what the next big thing is (If you do congratulations! I'll be looking forward to seeing what your creative mind has molded.)
32. Call up your friend from your walk and see if they want their face Photoshopped onto anything
33. Draw a picture
34. Sign that picture and give it to someone on the street
35. Dabble with the thoughts of the creation of mankind
36. Contemplate the meaning of life
37. Write a poem about your intense thoughts
38. Realize all of that thinking made you hungry and prepare a snack
39. Try switching things up for a snack today. Don't rule out unusual food combinations, try something new. Think sweet and salty, hot and cold, meaty and vegetably. My recommendation is a nice ham and cheese sandwich, topped with Doritos. Never rule out taco in a bag. If you're looking for a delicious snack taco in a bag is always a real gem.
40. Learn a new sport
41. Ponder what your success as a professional race walker could be
42. Read my blog post about race walking
43. Wonder if being an Olympic race walker could support a family
44. Practice race walking
45. Realize why race walking isn't one of the televised Olympic sports
46. Phone your walking friend and see if they want to race walk with you
47. Sadly realize that no one wants to race walk with you
48. Pretend the floor is lava and jump around like a ninja
49. Learn to dougie
50. Learn to dance Gangham style
51. Learn the words to Gangham style, even the Korean part
52. Perform your newly acquired Korean signing and dance moves for your walking friend
53. Go for a bike ride
54. Start a biker gang
55. Realize you are a lone wolf and ride off into the distance alone
56. Start a twitter account
57. Tweet your feelings
58. Get a bunch of followers and become a Twitter Sensation
59. Realize you can't deal with your haters and delete your Twitter account
60. Reactivate your account one last time to say farewell to your faithful followers
61. Go meet your neighbors
62. Start a neighborhood-wide game of hide and go seek tag
63. Start a Kpop band in your garage
64. Create a catchy song that has the right amount of "oooooh"'s "aaaaah"'s and creative dance moves
65. Post the mega smash hit on youtube
66. Break up your band because "You didn't realize the amount or mental, physical and emotional trauma this lifestyle would create."
67. Use creative pickup lines on your dog such as "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again."
68.  Realize that your line wasn't actually "smooth like peanut butter, (or I guess it might've been, if you buy crunchy peanut butter!) " and that you shouldn't be hurt if your dog just looks at you and walks away
69. Give your dog a bath
70. Give your dog a haircut but leave hair on his legs so it looks like he's wearing boots.
71. Take your dog for a walk and realize all of his doggy friends don't like him anymore
72. Console your dog
73. Realize he's still upset about that atrocious pickup line

Olympic Sport?

Ever heard of race walking? Me neither. Don't worry it actually is a sport. It's a 20 km footrace for men and women (or 50 km for men only) and it's a legitimate Olympic sport. "How do they not just run?" you ask? Well the official rules state that you must have one foot on the ground at all times. Race walking made it's first appearance at the Olympics in 1904. According to Wikipedia, race walking is often considered an artificial and slightly controversial sport. Why is it controversial? I'm not 100% sure, but I know what sport I'm training for in 2016! Remember never underestimate a race walker, you never know when someone might come up to you and say walk fast for 20 km or I'll kill you....

Star Wars?

Just about everybody I know has an opinion on Star Wars, good or bad, which movies are better, and stuff like that. Anyways here are a few videos loosely based on Star Wars, I thought both of them were pretty clever. If you don't like them you can get off my blog and never come back!!!!! And if you do like them tell your friends!!! Then I can have the best blog in the world!!!

Fat Countdowns

 Continuing with the theme of fatness, I've started "Fat Countdowns." They're on the right side of my blog --------------> (look that-a-way!) Aaaaand it's just a simple countdown to some important events in my life. My first countdown is for my birthday which is in 17 days. I can't wait til I'm fifteen so I can get my license! Just kidding... that will still take a year. I'll keep thinking of more countdowns to add and annoy you with. Ever wonder how long it is until my bedtime? Well now you can know! So amazing right? Anyways that's the story behind Fat Countdowns, and the advice for today is practice doesn't make perfect if you're practicing wrong. Save time; learn it the right way.

My First Blog Post

Ain't that just the fattest giraffe you've ever saw? Some say that's what would happen if McDonald's hit Africa. I've named my blog after this beautiful picture. If you like fat animals check out my good bud's blog at myfatdogblog.blogspot.com She's a solid friend who's kind of obsessed with animal obesity too. I hope a lot of people read my blog so I can be famous and get a lot of twitter followers and become famous like Perez Hilton and what not. I had a dream blog before, but no one would read it... so I'm trying again. Now I know you're thinking... how great can a blog about an overweight African mammals be? Well the real question is why are you judging my blog? You can't just waltz in here and go "Well your blog isn't to my liking." Maybe you should give it chance. Stop judging people. It's wrong. I don't go to your blog and judge it. So show some respect and accept my blog for what it is. And don't go leaving me comments on how to improve it. It's perfect just the way it is. If you think you can improve it, I think we're a bit confused on our positions here. I make this blog awesome, you read it and tell your friends. So yeah, read the blog and enjoy or get out of here.
And before I go a piece of advice for you to think about, When you're awesome, it's not if you win, it's by how much.